Kissing in The Dark
by ObsidianWing
Summary: Jean had fallen for Armin since first noticing those bright blue eyes, but he's ashamed to come out and tell anyone about it. How long will it take before Armin realizes Jean is embarrassed to be seen with him. And even more...how long can they last as a couple? (Rated M for later chapters)
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: So, a small idea that's been rattling around in my hazy brain since Monday and I couldn't help but put it into a story. So, I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you to anyone for checking out this story! You're all amazing! :D_**

* * *

Their first day as Cadets in their training days the trainees didn't think much about the others other than that they were comrades. Now that more than a few years had passed, they'd managed to get to know each other on a more personal level. Some even became acquaintances, allies, or even small rivals with each other. The best example being Eren Yeager and Jean Kirstein. Since day one they were less than friendly towards each other, even though both of them knew full well it would have been better if they were even just a tad civil with each other.

Other than Jean, Eren had no real enemies in the training facility. Mikasa was also on good terms with most people. Armin had no real enemies as well, but he wasn't as forward and strong as his friends had been. He never threw his opinion out there, he never spoke up or caused trouble. There were the odd few that tried to start trouble with him, but he ignored it. They weren't worth the punishment Shadis would inflict if he found out others were starting shit in his training facility.

Jean, unlike the three friends, wasn't much liked by the others in the facility. But he didn't really care. He was only here for himself and no one else. He would accomplish his dream of being in the Military Police and being completely safe within the innermost wall. No one would turn him from this dream, especially that preachy bastard, Yeager.

Despite his dream, however, it wasn't as if he was _completely_ unfeeling.

Especially with the fairer sex.

Mikasa had grabbed his eye almost instantly upon day one. Her long black hair, her deep dark eyes, and her gorgeous skin… it had all set him ablaze with desire over her. Not only were her features the epitome of perfection, but her skills in training were phenomenal. Everything about her was perfect, save for the unrequited desire and devotion she had over Eren. Had it not been for that, he would have made his move a long time ago. Sadly, however, he was left to just watch from afar and hope to god that he got her alone one day.

Although it was apparent to most of the trainees of Jean's affection over Mikasa, no one really noticed the affections of a certain blonde towards the man himself.

Armin was not as forward with his emotions while in training like others. He was too nervous, too shy to come out and say things to others. He'd been beaten up so many times in the past from giving his opinion that he'd learned to just shut up and keep his eyes to the floor. But it wasn't as if he was devoid of feelings, that wasn't it at all. In fact, out of everyone, he believed he had the most feelings out of all of them.

The blonde had finished his small portion of soup and bread and was now waiting on his friends to do the same. In the moments where he was waiting he looked up towards Jean and noticed his attention was once again turned to Mikasa. Effectively making the blonde's heart crush in pain and longing.

Eren and Mikasa knew full well Armin wasn't like other men. He didn't want attention from women. What they didn't know was his harboured affections for Eren's newfound rival. The small glances, the silent wishes of being noticed by the man, and the way he lost focus anytime he was close to him. How the two never picked up on it was beyond him, but he supposed it was a good thing considering Eren would kill Jean if he found out about Armin's feelings. The last thing the blonde's best friend ever wanted was the possibility of him getting hurt by anyone else. And Jean could be a loose cannon if given the opportunity to prove it. Somehow, Armin found this strangely attractive in the taller cadet. Maybe because he was the opposite, or maybe he just liked the excitement.

He honestly didn't know.

Growing a bit tired of waiting for the two to finish eating – Mikasa being slower than Eren by stopping to chastise the brunette for eating too quickly, and Eren slowing down to argue with the girl – so the blonde just excused himself and made for the exit. He'd been reading a book he'd borrowed from the library and he was eager to get back to it as soon as he could. With the little to no reading material he had as a child, finding an entire building dedicated to letting people read to their heart's content was a dream come true for the boy. He hadn't stopped reading since finding the place, and with it the books brought an escape from his tough life as a cadet and soon-to-be soldier.

Just as the blonde put away his dishes and headed for the exit, a hand on the door stopped him in his tracks and he immediately felt a twinge of fear pass through him. This had been the last thing he wanted to deal with after training all day.

He'd been looking at him for a week now, a soldier Armin hadn't memorized the name of but memorized his hazy and sinful eyes. Green and sharp, always staring at him like he was a feast ready to be devoured at any moment. It made the blonde uncomfortable to be looked at like this, and it make his heart clench in fear at what would happen were he to get on his bad side. So for the past week he'd said nothing and let it slide. Hoping that the teenager would realize he was indeed male and not looking for anything he was planning for him. However, at that moment, it didn't look like the teen cared if he was male or not. Just that he was in sight and alone.

The green eyed cadet smirked at him. "Going back to the barracks? Mind if I join?"

Armin shook slightly in a bit of fear but didn't show any sign of cowering. This wasn't the first time he'd been thought of as a female, and it wouldn't be the last. If he just stood his ground and told the cadet to leave him alone, then things could end right here and now.

"No, you may not. May I please pass now?"

The cadet took a step towards him, still smirking. "C'mon Arlert, you can't say no."

"You're aware I'm male, correct?" He asked as he was backed into an empty table where he was pinned down by the cadet's hands on either side of him.

"So?" The cadet asked as he gently took hold of the boy's jaw. "From behind it won't matter."

The blonde felt a jolt of fear course through him that made his entire being freeze. For a moment there he thought he'd might've passed out…

…until someone pulled him away from his face and to the floor.

Jean didn't understand Mikasa and Armin's devotion to Eren, but that didn't mean either of them deserved to be treated like this. So the moment Jean found the blonde pinned to a table shaking in fear from this green eyed bastard, he took action.

He stood between the two cadets and glared his golden eyes at the teen he just threw to the floor.

"Walk away, or you won't have the legs to walk on anymore." He threatened.

The teen rushed off in fear and didn't look back. Jean knew he could be scary when angry and knew full well he could kick some drunk teenager's ass without even trying. He wasn't the greatest soldier, but he was a hell of a lot better than some.

He turned to the blonde behind him and saw he was still shaking in a bit of fright. "Are you okay?"

The blonde nodded. "Thank you," came his soft reply.

The shorter teen pushed himself away from the table and shuffled towards the door. He could see that the kid was still shaken up slightly and he felt his being wash over in worry over him.

He put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, effectively making him jump. "Here, let me come with you. I'll be your personal body guard!" He joked.

The blonde looked over his shoulder nervously towards his table and back to him. "What about…"

"I finished eating a while ago. I was just waiting for Marco to finish but he got sidetracked talking to Mina about helping her on an assignment. Come on, I'll walk you to the barracks and then…"

"That's fine." Came a gruff and angry voice from behind him, making the two cadets turn and look to see who it was.

Eren smacked the taller boy's hand away from Armin's shoulder and glared at the cadet. "I'll thank you for saving Armin from that bastard, but please keep your grimy hands off of him and leave us to his protection."

"Eren," Armin spoke softly, "I'm fine. I can go to the barracks on my own."

"No, I won't let you. Not after what I witnessed." The brunette finalized. "And I won't let you go back with just _him_."

Jean scoffed at the teen. "You treat him like that and he'll never become a good soldier."

Eren grabbed the taller teen's shirt and pushed him into a wall. "Armin is twice the soldier you'll ever be!"

The blonde sighed to himself. "Here we go again."

The two boy's bickered about Eren coddling Armin like a child the same way Mikasa did to him and each tried to defend their own side of the argument with a lot of yelling and weak insults to each other. It was rather pathetic to watch, but it wasn't that bad of an entertainment for the rest of the cadets.

Mikasa finally put an end to the bickering and grabbed Eren's arm to yank his hand off of Jean's shirt.

"Eren," the girl spoke in a monotonous tone, "Jean was just trying to make sure Armin was safe. You should be thankful he did anything at all rather than sit back and let him get hurt. I don't care about your hostility towards each other, it doesn't mean he's the same way with others. So stop acting like a child and go back to eating your dinner."

Armin said nothing but nodded at what Mikasa said. He was quite thankful that Jean had stepped in when he did instead of hanging back and doing nothing. Although, Armin had a pretty good idea why he did what he did.

And it wasn't to be a good person.

Mikasa looked up at Jean. "Will you please take Armin back to the barracks so Eren may finish his meal?"

The blonde jolted at this. "M-Mikasa! I can take care of myself! I-It's okay!"

Jean only smirked at the blonde's terrible attempt to sound brave. "Sure, I'll bring him back safe and sound! Just because you asked so nicely Mikasa."

She nodded at the boy and dragged Eren back over to their table, the brunette thrashing about wildly and spouting cusses and threats at Jean if he found anything wrong with the blonde when he returned.

The taller of the two teens looked down at the blonde boy and gestured towards the door. "After you."

The boy stared up into Jean's golden eyes before sighing in defeat and heading out the door. Jean followed close behind like a loyal puppy.

The boy hummed in discord and looked to his left at the man. "I know you only helped me to get on Mikasa's good side. You can just leave my side right now and I'll put in a good word for you, it's no big deal."

The golden eyed boy looked back at him in confusion. "What? What are you talking about?"

"We all know you have a thing for Mikasa, so I know you only helped me to get on her good side. I promise, I'll say something on your behalf, but you don't have to act like a gentleman when I know you're only doing this for yourself. So just… leave me alone. I'll be fine."

The taller teen stopped in his tracks and looked over at the blonde. "Armin, Mikasa had nothing to do with my decision to help you. I saw what that pervert was doing, I saw that you were afraid, so I jumped in to help you out. I wasn't even thinking about Mikasa when I saw you shaking in fear over that bastard! I just wanted to help you!"

The boy's face relaxed a little, his body following suit. "You… …really? W-Why would you want to help me?"

The man scoffed. "Just because Eren is an ass doesn't mean I think you or Mikasa are. I'm not going to throw you into my own business with Yeager or Mikasa any more than you throw your own business into anyone else's. I'm not that cold hearted, you know."

The blonde blinked at him before looking away towards the ground, a light pink tinting his face. "Oh… s-sorry. I shouldn't assume things like that about you just because of Eren and Mikasa."

The teen grinned at the smaller boy's adorable face and ruffled the blonde locks of hair. "No worries. We can still be a team you and I, even if Eren and I manage to kill each other in the end. Though I doubt Mikasa will ever talk to me again if I do manage to destroy him."

The blonde boy giggled softly at this, his smile coming to the surface, and Jean felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of his small laugh. Did Armin always have such an adorable laugh? Maybe he should start paying attention more when the blonde was around.

They continued their walk back to the barracks in silence, but Jean gladly took note of Armin's smile on the walk there and felt his own lips curve into a small grin. Although Armin was indeed male, Jean did find a few aspects about him to be quite… lovely.

Although Mikasa was the object of his affections, it's not as if Jean didn't look around at the others every once in a while. Sasha he'd found to be quite a looker… up until she ate her first meal in front of him and he immediately turned tail. Annie was good looking, but cold hearted and not very friendly. Krista was beautiful, but way out of his league. Besides, Ymir had a close connection to her at all times and didn't let anyone else go near her unless she was there. Ymir herself wasn't his ideal girl as well. Too clingy and devoted to Krista. Hannah was already with Franz and Mina was trying her best to get Marco to like her. But out of all of them, besides Mikasa, Armin had captured his full attention. Maybe it'd been his blonde hair, or fair skin, or maybe the effeminate features, but Armin was the first boy he'd actually found attractive. Still to this day he'd found the blonde attractive. But he wasn't sure Armin had the same feelings as him, or even that he was into males.

Besides, Mikasa had been his goal for a long while and he aimed to have her first and foremost. Not to mention he didn't want to have to deal with people gossiping about him and Armin being together. As much as he'd like to at least try a relationship with the blonde, he didn't know if he could take the jokes and ridicule that would come along with it. Not to mention, if today proved anything, that Eren was more than willing to decapitate him if he felt Armin was ever put into any danger.

No, there was just too many risks involved if he were to choose Armin.

They entered into the barracks and Armin immediately took to his bed, fumbling around under his pillow to bring out a book he was currently reading.

Once Jean had shrugged off his shirt he looked over to the blonde and smirked. "I don't think I've ever seen you without a book in your hand before you fall asleep. And each night it looks different from the night before."

The blonde blushed slightly and curled into himself. "I read a lot when I was a kid. The thought of different worlds from this one fascinates me. But we didn't have a lot of selection back home so when I found the library here I practically filed out the weight of a titan in any books I could get my hands on."

Jean couldn't help the chuckle at hearing his little story and strode over to sit on the boy's bed. "So then what's this one about?"

Armin was hesitant but leaned forward to show the teen the pages.

"It's about a poor merchant who comes home to find his village, home, and family burned to the ground by crusaders, and he's taken to a far off land to be sold into slavery. He works from the bottom of the heap to become the land's greatest and most daring soldier. I'm almost done with the book though, so you can borrow it if you're interested in reading more. I got one on a wait list for me in the library anyway."

The teen rested his forehead on the blonde's and hummed with a slight smile on his face. "Thanks but no thanks. Unlike you my reading ability is slower moving and I wouldn't find a lot of time to read it. You should tell me how it ends though when you're finished."

The boy backed up slightly and shook his head. "If you're _that_ interested to see what happens, then you should read it for yourself. If I can find time to read, so can you."

The teen shrugged. "I'm more of a pencil and paper kind of person. I'll spend fifteen minutes on reading, but I'll take hours – or even days – on a drawing. It's all about where I most find my passion."

Armin seemed surprised at this. "You can draw? Can you show me any of your works?"

The taller teen blushed at this and lifted a hand to scratch behind his head nervously. "Err… well… I guess. But I'm not that great of an artist. It was just a hobby of mine."

The teen slowly made his way to is bed and lifted the mattress to bring out his sketchbook. He handed it over to the blonde nervously but with a grin. "Just try not to laugh."

Armin happily took the sketchbook, flipping to page one…

…

…and was stunned into silence.

'Not a good artist' he says! Yet right in front of him Armin could see that Jean was wasting his time in the cadets when he should be focussing on his art! Each flower he drew from the vase that Krista had situated in each quarter – for both the men and women's side – had been beautifully drawn and magnificently shaded. It was as if Armin was looking at the real thing right in front of him. The next few pages had been even better with him having drawn eyes as practice, and a hand holding a rose. But after those Armin was even more stunned to find Jean's drawings of the other recruits. Sasha and Connie laughing at their own jokes, Reiner and Bertolt just casually lounging around, Krista smiling sweetly as Ymir had her arm draped over her, Marco smiling his usual sweet smile, and of course Mikasa and her ever-so-blank stare towards the reviewer of his pictures. Jean even made a picture of Eren, though it wasn't his best side since it was him eating sloppily and rudely. Armin couldn't help but stifle a laugh at how perfect it was to the real thing though.

On the last page though, Armin couldn't help the deep red blush on his cheeks as he came face to face with himself reading quietly on his bed like he always did at night before falling asleep. In this picture Jean had captured something Armin had no idea was even in his own eyes. Wonder, excitement, fulfillment, and a glow that brought the page to life. Out of all the pictures though, Jean had only coloured this one with favour. His blonde hair the perfect shade, his eyes a bright and shining blue, and his skin – though pale – seemed soft to the touch. All of this was accentuated by the soft glow of the candle not far from his bed on the dresser. Jean had captured everything in Armin's nightly routine, and it all looked so wonderful.

The blush deepened further. _'Is this how he sees me?'_ He wondered to himself.

Jean coughed into his hand nervously and gently took the book from the blonde's hands. "Yeah… I know they aren't great. But…"

"Jean," Armin spoke with a tentative grin, "I think they're wonderful! You have such raw talent! Why are you even here when you could make a life as a street artist?!"

Jean only shrugged. "I told you that before. I want safety behind the innermost wall. The best way to get that is to get into the Military Police."

Right. Somehow Armin had forgotten that little fact.

"Still… you have such an amazing talent. You shouldn't let it go to waste like this."

Another shrug from the taller boy. "It's just a passion. Something to pass the time."

The blonde hummed in response, and suddenly a question came to mind.

"So… why did you only colour the drawing of me?"

Jean blinked at this and his blush returned to his face as he scratched his cheek nervously. "Well… I…I noticed it was easier to do so since you're as still as the dead when you're reading. I took an opportunity and bought some coloured pencils from Trost to make the picture a bit better. Umm… w-what do you think? Does it look alright to you? I know I didn't exactly ask for your permission to draw you but…"

"I love it." Armin interrupted the boy, making his heart skip another beat. "You're really talented, Jean."

The taller boy felt his face grow hotter and his lips curl into a smile. "Uh… thank you. I'm glad you like the drawing."

A moment of awkward silence filled the room as Jean returned his sketchbook back to its place under his mattress. He then sat down and looked up at the blonde thoughtfully. For a quick moment he marvelled at the boy's bright blue eyes in the warm glow of the candle, mentally stopping himself from re-grabbing his sketchbook and getting to work on drawing those emotive eyes. He then wondered for a moment why, with all he did in observing Mikasa, he bought those pencils purely for the picture he had of Armin.

He took a breath and lay down in his bed. "I should… um… let you get back to reading." He then rolled over, looking away from the boy. "'Night."

Before he could close his eyes and try to forget about the boy and those large impassioned eyes he had, he jolted at the sudden feeling of lips on his cheek and turned to see Armin sitting over him, biting his lip and playing his his hair nervously. Looking away to hide his reddening face.

The blonde cleared his throat. "Thank- -Thank you… by the way. For- -" he giggled softly, "for not making me look like Eren did. Sloppy and unattractive."

Jean paused for a second before smiling up at the boy and leaning up to look at him better. "I only draw what I see in others. And, let's face it, Eren is a bit sloppy. You have more personality so… I gave you more colour than the others."

Armin scoffed at this. "Right… _I_ have more personality than Sasha or Connie."

"Okay then…" he paused to think of a better word. "You have more _life_ to you than they do. You have more experience and light than they do. Drawing you in black and white doesn't suit you at all. You need colour because that's what you bring to the world around you. Especially when you smile or laugh."

That very same smile now graced his lovely face.

Jean smirked. "Just like that."

Armin hummed at this and dared to look over at the taller teen in admiration. "Well… thank you. I've… I've never been complimented like that before. Not where the words didn't end in 'let's get it on'."

Jean couldn't help the laugh at such a true – however repulsive – thing. Some of the men here really needed to put a cork in it. Quite literally.

The golden eyed boy lifted a tentative hand to the boy's face and brushed his hair behind his ear. "You deserve better treatment than that. And I'm really glad I stopped that ass-hat from bothering you. What a waste of human life."

Armin's smile widened. "Thank you again."

Another bout of silence filled the room but this time it wasn't as awkward. This time, it was peaceful and nice. It made everything around them seem less important than what was in front of the other.

The blonde boy looked over to his bed and sighed sadly, ending the peaceful silence. "I should... err... go to bed. I'll read tomorrow morning since it's our break day."

Jean sat up a bit more to look him in the eye. "Why not just stay up and talk? You always got something interesting to say."

Armin's face tinged pink once again. "Not always. Sometimes I think I talk too much about nothing."

"Armin, if you talk too much, then Eren and I have become best friends!" He joked. "Honestly, _when_ have you ever talked too much?! I can usually never get you to speak at all!"

The blonde shrugged. "Ask me about the outside world once in a while and I'll sing like a dove."

"I'll hold you to that!" He promised. "I'd like your opinion on it anyhow. I've never really read anything about the outside world."

"That's because it's illegal to have anything to do with what's outside the walls. It's not exactly something the King wants us to talk about lest we revolt and cause him to lose control over his territory. It's kind of pathetic really, but it's the world we live in."

Jean gave a short laugh at this and smirked at the boy. "Tell you what, tomorrow we hang out for the entire day and you tell me all you know about what's outside the walls. I'll let you bitch and complain about anything you want while you do so as well!"

The blonde shook with laughter and looked up into the teen's golden eyes. "Thanks, but I have plans with Eren and Mikasa. Maybe another time?"

"It's a date!" He announced happily, not thinking for a moment about his word choice and successfully making Armin blush.

When he noticed this, his own face reddened and he looked away with a grin. "I mean… we don't… I… what I meant was…"

He was responded to with a quick peck on the lips by the blonde before he nervously looked back at the ground, hair covering his reddening face.

"It's a date." Came the small reply.

Jean was stunned into silence. He'd barely had time to register the fact that Armin had indeed kissed him, but even less time to realize the two had just agreed on having a date together. It had just… happened.

The boy went to stand up but Jean took hold of his hand before he could leave.

With a bout of confidence, he gently pulled the boy back down to his side and cupped his face in his hand, making Armin look up at him with his reddened face and hopeful eyes. Jean didn't know how long he'd been hiding his feelings for him, but he wasn't going to let the blonde go without a proper kiss.

Jean rested his forehead on Armin's. "If you're going to kiss and run, at least make it count."

He leaned in and connected their lips, making Armin pause in his place for a split second before melting into the kiss with a soft moan. Truth be told this was a first for both of them, with Jean never having kissed a male and Armin never having kissed anyone at all, but each found it to be the best thing to have ever happened to the two. The soft skin of Armin's lips made Jean deepen it further, and Jean's rough calloused hands being ever so gentle to Armin's slender form made the blonde relax more and more into the embrace.

Jean's hand slid into the crook of Armin's neck and shoulder as they broke apart for air and the teen slid his lips to Armin's neck instead.

"God, you're beautiful." He whispered to him.

Before Armin could make a sarcastic remark about how Jean was just fueled by hormones, they both heard the chatter of other cadets making their way over to the barracks.

Jean broke away from Armin completely and looked over to the blonde in worry.

"Armin, can we please not say a thing to anyone about this… thing that we started?"

The blonde blinked and his eyes became sombre, making Jean feel terrible for asking.

The voices came closer.

Jean took the blonde's hand and kissed it tenderly. "Armin, I really want us to start something. But… it's not exactly looked highly upon for two guys to be together. I just… I don't want you and I to be laughed at or shunned for us being together. That doesn't mean anything about how I feel about you, but how _they_ feel about us. And besides, Yeager would have a hissy fit if he knew, and I know Mikasa would castrate me if she found out!"

The blonde couldn't help the small chuckle at that. "At least you'd live."

"But I would not live _well_." He joked.

The voices drew nearer.

Armin nodded. "Okay… I won't say or do a thing out of line." He then grinned. "Meet back here tomorrow after dinner an hour early to make up a plan?"

Jean happily kissed the boy's cheek at this. "Can't wait!"

The door handle jiggled and Armin immediately made for his bed. Thankfully it wasn't too far and he managed to slide in under his covers right as the door opened. Luck be with them that they'd been fast since it'd been Eren to enter the barracks first and look at the two in hopes to see if anything had gone wrong.

"Are you okay, Armin?" The brunette asked his friend but glaring at Jean.

The boy nodded. "Never better."

Jean scoffed. "Told you I'd take care of him."

The two glanced at each other and Armin had to fight away the blush as the taller teen winked at him.

Eren growled angrily as he climbed up to his bunk. "Good. I'd have ripped out your lungs if Armin had been hurt in any way, shape, or form."

Jean only scoffed again. "I'm more afraid of Mikasa than you, Yeager." He said as he turned over. "Now go to sleep, mother hen."

Armin chuckled at this and looked up at Eren's bunk. "You really do act like Mikasa to me some days."

Eren glanced over the bunk. "I am NOTHING like Mikasa!"

Armin curled into his covers with a bright smile on his face. "Whatever you say, Eren."

For the first time in months, Armin would finally go to sleep with a smile on his face. And somehow, he knew Jean would do the same. Tomorrow they'd wake up and meet each other in secret to plan out a date and just be together as a couple.

Somehow, Armin believed this hidden relationship would be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you to anyone for checking out this story! You're all amazing! :D_**

* * *

Training was always the most difficult part about the cadets. Having to wake up early, work yourself into the ground, eating little food at a time. But when you had something to look forward to by the end of it all, it was worth it. The pain, the sweat, the tears… all of it was worth it when you had something at the end of the day waiting for you.

For Jean and Armin, it was each other.

They finished their dinner's early, each leaving their respective tables at different times in order not to rouse suspicion, and met up in the barracks an hour before anyone else was finished their portions. The next hour was theirs to enjoy.

The moment Jean found the blonde waiting for him on his bed he immediately greeted him with a chaste kiss.

"God I missed you!" He exclaimed once they broke apart, making Armin giggle.

"You saw me all day." The blonde reminded.

The teen dug his face into the crook of Armin's neck and shoulder, kissing everywhere his lips touched feverishly. "Yes, but I couldn't kiss or hold you this close! It was driving me insane! I just wanted to be close to you!"

Armin bit his lip at the sensations running through his blood with each impassioned kiss to his skin. "Well we're here now, and we have a little time for ourselves before people start filing into the barracks. I believe you mentioned a date last night?"

Jean hummed at this, still kissing the soft skin he'd been aching to touch all day. "Right, well… maybe on our next rest day…"

Armin backed away from the man to give him some air to breathe so he could come up with something a bit more thought out. The look in his golden eyes said it all. He'd truly been aching just to be close to the blonde, and in no way was he wasting the little time he had just chatting and doing nothing with each other. Armin found this both a little sad… but incredibly sweet.

He kissed the teen's lips softly before placing a hand over his neck, rubbing his jawline with his thumb. "Our next day off we go out on our own? Maybe into Trost? Or did you have something else in mind?"

Jean hummed at the soft hand on his skin and melted into the pleasure of it all. "Anything you want, Armin. I'm all yours."

The blonde rolled his eyes and pulled the taller teen into a kiss, this time with more passion and sincerity.

Armin had taken most of the night to rethink about keeping all of this secret, thinking that maybe it'd be better for the two of them if they just came out and made it public. But upon further speculation, it wouldn't be the correct way to approach this. Not when relationships and couples were closely monitored by the instructors almost daily - Franz and Hannah getting the worst of them since the two were less than subtle about them being together. Not to mention the other cadets would have a field day of mocking them due to the fact that they were both male. It wasn't looked highly upon in places like the military to be with the same sex, and it definitely wouldn't look good for someone like Jean who wanted to be in the MPs. It was just a smarter decision to keep this out of everyone's sight until later on.

Besides, Armin enjoyed the alone time he had with the teen.

The taller of the two pulled his lover in closer and delved further into the kiss. If he was to be honest with himself, Jean never imagined getting anywhere near this kind of relationship while he was in the cadets. Especially with his rival's best friend. It wasn't as if he didn't like the situation they were in – in fact he was ecstatic to be part of this – but he knew there were risks. Risks he was willing to take… but still risks.

Armin suddenly pulled away from the teen, effectively making him whine in displeasure, before hugging the man tightly and nuzzling in under his chin.

"I'm happy you chose me." The blonde mumbled into Jean's chest. "I was beginning to think you never even knew I was there."

The teen was dumbfounded by the admission but gently hugged him back with a soft smile.

"How could anyone not notice you? You're amazing!"

Armin only hummed. "But I know you have a thing for Mikasa, so I can't help but feel a bit honoured that you'd choose me over her. I know you've had your eye on her for a while now, and…"

"Don't even worry about her." He interrupted, kissing the top of the blonde's head. "Nobody, especially me, has a chance in the world with her." He then snickered slightly. "Well… maybe Eren."

That still didn't make the blonde feel any better. He knew Jean well enough that he'd dump Armin in a heartbeat if it meant he had a chance to be with Mikasa. And he couldn't blame him. Mikasa was beautiful and fiery, she had passion to her. Armin was just this quiet little blonde who could barely keep up with the rest of the troops. His greatest asset was his mind, and that counted for nothing in battles against monsters like titans. It was all skill…

…and he had none.

Jean noticed the way Armin began to shrink in on himself and forced the blonde to look up at him by softly tilting his chin up.

"Quit looking down all the time." He commanded quietly. "I won't be able to see your eyes if you do. They're your best feature."

The boy only scoffed, but managed a small grin. "Thank you…"

They suddenly heard the voices of returning bunkmates and they immediately separated from each other. Not a moment sooner too since Eren came barging in and looking for Armin to practically yell at him for ditching him and Mikasa after dinner. It turns out that one of the instructors had come in and gave everyone an assignment they had to do with partners, and since Armin hadn't been there for Eren to partner up with, Mikasa had taken him in as a partner instead.

Armin only grinned innocently and glanced over at Jean. "Sorry Eren, but I've… uh… I've had a partner since yesterday. Jean got wind of the assignment from the instructor and said he'd like my help to bring up his mark in class. I couldn't say no."

"It's not that hard," the brunette explained, looking over at Jean. "Get lost!"

The other brunette stood from his bed and glared down at the shorter. "Too little too late, Yeager. Armin's my partner, so just back off."

The shorter pushed the taller. "Make me!"

Before an all-out fist fight could break out between the two, Armin got in the middle and kept them at bay. Honestly, it was usually Mikasa to break the fights, but since Armin was the only one not willing to put up with their childish behaviour at the moment, it was up to him to break up the fights.

"Eren," the blonde spoke softly, "he asked me politely if he could get my help and I agreed. It's nothing to start a fight over." He then glared slightly at Jean. "And if you still want a 'partner' Jean, then I expect you to act like a mature adult whilst dealing with my friends. They were by my side long before you and I hold them in higher regard. So please act your age."

He turned back to Eren. "And that goes double for you."

"What! Why me!?" The shorter brunette demanded.

Armin put his hands down from the boys' chests. "Because like it or not, Jean and I are… erm… partners. So we're going to spend some time together. The last thing I need is for you to be starting things because of your anger. I don't want to get Mikasa involved, but I'll have to if you can't control yourself. Okay?"

The tallest of the three grumbled at this but nodded. "Whatever you say, Armin. I am but your humble idiot partner."

Armin almost rolled his eyes at this but stopped mid-roll to look at Eren, who was looking at the two of them in anger and resentment.

"Tch… fine," he agreed angrily, "but keep horse-face at least ten feet away from me. The last thing I need is his garlic breath stinking up my day."

Jean cocked an eyebrow at this and looked down towards Armin, visibly asking with his face if this was true. Armin only shook his head before going back to his bed to read himself to sleep.

Once Eren was in his own bunk, he glared down at Jean. "You'd better pull your own weight, Kirstein. Armin isn't a tool to be used for your own vices."

Jean just climbed into his own bed and ignored the boy. If this was what he was like learning about the two being merely partners, he couldn't imagine the anger he'd have if he knew they were… well… _partners._

The teen glanced over at Armin and gave a small smile at the peaceful scene before him. The boy still reading like nothing was going on, and grinning whenever he read a certain sentence he found worth the effort. And for a moment in that time Jean wished more than anything that he could join his in that bed and just fall asleep to the blonde's peaceful breathing and steady, warm breath. Maybe he'd sneak in later in the night while everyone was asleep and spend some quality time with him when he could, but it would mean possibly waking up Eren in the process.

A tough choice… but one he would gladly risk if it meant more alone time with Armin.

Despite not being _all_ alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you to anyone for checking out this story! You're all amazing! :D_**

* * *

"Would you stop it!" Armin whispered to the boy, trying his hardest not to giggle. "Someone could walk in and see us at any moment! What happened to keeping this secret?!"

Jean just continued assaulting his neck with fervent kisses, smiling the entire time. "We're in the back of the library. No one's gonna notice us."

"And if Eren and Mikasa show up unannounced?" The blonde dared.

The teen hummed against his neck. "I'll say I was cleaning a spot off of your skin."

"With your lips?" Armin asked sarcastically.

Jean's smile only widened. "It was a piece of food from lunch."

Armin sighed at this and continued reading his book. If jean wanted to get caught by the others then so be it. It was getting challenging hiding this from everyone now anyways. Especially with Eren growing suspicious over the way Jean glanced at him or sent him small little smiles when he thought no one was looking. Mikasa had been the first to point it out, drawing Eren's attention almost right away, but Armin insisted Jean was looking at Mikasa herself instead of him. This worked for a little while until Eren caught the teen whispering into the blonde's ear and making him giggle. Only then did things start to become bothersome and the two separated themselves to keep from others finding out. Thus the reason they were in the back of the library instead of in the front of the room with the rest of the cadets.

The two of them suddenly heard footsteps approaching and Jean immediately disconnected himself from the blonde. To their relief, it wasn't Eren or Mikasa. It'd been Reiner, Bertolt, and Marco to join them at their table. All of them had been talking about some kind of event that was going on in Trost to celebrate the harvest. It was an annual thing that most people behind the wall celebrated, but Armin wasn't too informed about the topic since they didn't really have a harvest day in Shiganshina. There were celebrations, yes, but none like the harvest day festival.

"I heard Shadis is giving the cadets the day off on the harvest festival." Marco said happily. "I'm thinking I'll go into town and spend the day with my family. What about you guys?"

Reiner huffed a loud laugh. "I'm going into town and gettin' me some of those pastries for snacking on later in training. Maybe I'll bring someone with me." He directed over to Armin.

Of course Armin noticed this right away, but acted as if he'd still been reading and hadn't been paying attention to the older man. Not that Reiner had a real crush on him or anything, but he had mistook him for a female on the very first day of their training, and so he tried his luck. Of course, he immediately apologized for having mistook him for a girl, but it became a running joke nowadays that the two were a couple or crushing on one another.

But Reiner only thought of it as a friendly little game. Teasing Armin, hitting on him, even giving him weird looks. It was all just a joke to him, and the shorter blonde knew he'd never actually like him as anything more than a friend.

Reiner noticed his aloofness and huffed. "Fine then… I'm sure Krista won't break my heart like you, Arlert."

"No, but Ymir will break your legs." The shorter blonde reminded him, making the rest of the table laugh.

Bertolt patted the man on the back. "I was just thinking about heading to the bookstore and grabbing some new material to read, so I'd be happy to be your date!"

Reiner smacked the hand away with a gruff sigh. "So what about you, Kirstein?" The taller blonde asked, nudging the teen's shoulder. "Gonna ask Mikasa to the Harvest festival? Or do you got another dame in mind?"

Jean scoffed at this. "If you could get her alone for even a moment for me I'd be happy to ask. But let's face it, she could kick your ass, mine, Bertolt's, and anyone else willing to join in if we got in the way of her protecting Eren's perfectly coiffed head." He then glanced down at Armin for a split second before resisting the urge to pull him in for a hug. "Besides… I uh… I got someone better in mind."

Armin forced down the smile at this and tried his hardest to keep his eyes focussed while keeping his ears at the ready.

"Oh-ho! The boy's got a dame of his own! So who is she?" Reiner asked a bit too excitedly.

"Yes, and why haven't _I_ met her!?" Marco asked in pure shock. "I see you every day, and never once was there a girl with your arm around her!"

Jean paled a bit at this and thought up a way to dodge the questions without _actually_ dodging them. "Well… I've been keeping it under wraps. I'm kind of… err… embarrassed about the situation."

 _'Embarrassed?'_ Armin questioned to himself. What did Jean have to be embarrassed about? Sure, they were both guys, and it wasn't looked too highly upon to be with the same sex… but Ymir didn't care that Krista was female. She wasn't embarrassed. Why should Jean be embarrassed?

"What, is she ugly?" Reiner asked bluntly.

"No, absolutely not!" Jean defended a little too eagerly. "They're stunning! Gorgeous even!"

Armin felt the slight heat rise to his face. _'Is he still talking about me?'_

"Well… is she brash? Mean? Uncoordinated?" Bertolt asked.

Jean shook his head. "No. They're quiet and calm, and they always say something to make me cool down after getting angry. They're nice and sweet, and they happen to have the face of an angel. Even if they are a bit… clumsy… they still walk with a grace and loveliness that's beyond human comparison. They're a walking angel in my eyes."

Armin had to turn away a bit more to hide his flushed and reddened cheeks. Even more was that he was noticing that Jean never used the word 'she' but called his secret little affair a 'they'. Keeping the mystique _and_ telling the truth. Jean was a lot smarter than Armin had given him credit for.

Marco hummed. "So then… what's the problem? Why are you embarrassed?"

Now that was a very good question. If Jean had all these wonderful things to say about him, then why were they sneaking kisses and short hours together behind everyone else? Did he not find personal displays of affection to his liking? Was Armin not good enough to be seen with him? Or was it because he just wasn't on his level? That he was small and weak, looking to being nothing more than the next dead soldier, while Jean was going to happily be part of the MPs, free from titan influence and safer than anyone else?

Jean took a breath before shrugging. "I just… I don't want people finding out. Not yet at least."

"Come on, not even us?!" Reiner urged on. "We already know you're with someone, so you might as well tell us her name!"

He shook his head. "You guys can guess for yourselves. I'd rather say nothing and leave it at that."

"Fine then, but one question remains…" Marco brought up, "…do you love her?"

At this Armin was unsure he'd wanted to hear. But then… wasn't it better if he knew the truth? To know if Jean really did want to be with him and love him for all that he was worth?

Jean only hummed and sat back in his chair. "Well…"

"Armin!" Called a familiar voice, making the blonde mentally groan in response.

He looked up and saw Eren with Mikasa trailing behind walking towards him, a large grin on his face. He seemed rather happy for once while he was here.

Armin grinned back. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

His grin widened. "Turns out our troop is heading out for a training exercise starting next week. We'll be getting out of the confines for a while, and I can't wait to stretch out my legs and get some fresh air!"

I couldn't help the small chuckle. "Just like you to get excited over more work. Oh well, it can't be helped. Anything we should be studying for before heading out?"

"Plant life and other edible substances. It's supposed to be a crash course in survival. Teams of two."

"And I suppose you're here to ask me to team up with you?" The blonde thought ahead.

"No," Mikasa said bluntly, "I will be his partner."

The brunette growled. "Sorry… she made me her partner after hearing the whole 'survival' part of this training. You know you're my first choice though."

"Ouch," Jean practically snickered out. "And right in front of Mikasa. How rude, Yeager."

Eren growled a bit louder now. "Like you're any better. Sneaking off after dinner to hang out with that whore of yours."

Armin practically choked on his own spit after hearing this and tried not to sound out his utter astonishment over hearing Eren call him a whore. Albeit he didn't _know_ he was with Jean… but the fact that he picked up on anything at all was amazing all the same.

Jean took offence to this right away and slammed his hand onto the table, standing up to glare daggers at the shorter teen.

"You take that back." He seethed out.

Eren only smirked. "So there _is_ someone in your life! I thought your sneaking about looked suspicious."

Armin stood up then and got between the two before a fight could begin.

"Eren, take back what you said about Jean's… love interest, we'll call them. It was uncalled for to call them such a thing when you don't even know who it is. Please take it back and respect someone else's choices. Your mother didn't raise you to be a bigot."

That was the word to make the boy back off slightly. Armin knew full well his mother wouldn't approve of his behaviour if she saw him act this way, and Eren knew it as well. It was wrong of him to assume disgusting evidences over someone he knew nothing about, and who Jean took to his heart. Even if Armin wasn't the object of the teen's affections, he'd still stand up to this kind of bullying that Eren was willing to dish out. He didn't like it…

Not in the slightest.

Eren bit his lip slightly before looking up at Jean. "Sorry. It was indeed uncalled for."

The teen sat down and growled. When he looked up to see Armin's eyes watching him for a proper response, he looked back over to Yeager and nodded.

"Whatever… it's all good."

Armin grinned lovingly between the two and looked over to Mikasa. "See! I can handle situations!"

Mikasa, on her rarest of moments, smiled at the boy gently. "I suppose. But if another fist fight breaks out between the two of them, you know who to come running to."

"Of course! Annie would throw Eren to the ground in moments and you could just stand there for Jean to ogle!"

The teen looked over the blonde's shoulder and waved his hands in defence. "I have never ogled you, Mikasa! Don't listen to a word he says!"

Mikasa didn't really pay too much attention to the teen and grabbed Eren's arm. "Come on, we have to do some reading for the survival exercise."

And like that, the two were off. Leaving Jean and Armin on their own.

Jean flicked the blonde's nose once he sat down, making the boy scrunch up his face in the cutest way possible.

"Thanks for completely dishing out my secret, blondie!"

Armin only giggled. "It's not really a secret when she's been aware that you've liked her for some time!"

"Oh bull shit! And you didn't tell me! I could have asked her out by now!"

"That doesn't mean she'd agree." Armin grinned out, earning another flick to the tip of his nose and making Jean smile in response to his adorable face.

They both heard Reiner laugh at this as he strode up behind the two and pat each of them on the back with his strong hands. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two were an old married couple!"

The two glanced at each other before looking away. Each of them blushing a deep shade of red.

Armin bit his lip before standing up once again. "I'm going to… err… g-go grab a new book. Um… anything you need, Jean?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm alright. But uh… since it looks like you don't have a partner for the survival exercise… maybe we could be… you know…"

The blonde nodded at this. "Sure thing. You're a better choice than Connie, that's for sure. Last time we had a survival challenge he got caught in one of the traps. It'll be nice to have someone slightly more competent this time around."

With that, the blonde left to grab the correct books. Leaving Jean to their other companions.

Marco seemed a bit hurt by the brunette's request but grinned anyway. "Why not ask me? I'm not good enough?" He joked.

A moment of silence passed between all of them before Jean replied with, "Yes."

Marco glared at the teen. "Oh, _that's_ nice!"

"No, not about that!" Jean said as he looked down at the table. "What I meant was… yes, I'm in love with them. With…"

He couldn't say it. He just glanced over in his general direction, feeling lonesome without his presence close to him. Any time Armin left his side he felt was cold and unfeeling, like he was seeping back into that angry and resentful state he had before fully coming to the conclusion that he'd fallen for someone. His mother always made snide comments about him needing a girl in his life to take away all the anger and rage in his heart, but he always thought she was just full of it. But… maybe it was what he needed. Someone who was opposite of him, to calm him down and say sweet words in an even sweeter voice. He even noticed how much he'd forgotten about Mikasa and how her presence had made him feel before. She was so cold compared to Armin that she just froze over in his mind and broke off weeks ago.

Armin was warm, comforting, and he always thought about his friends and companions during the times he should have been more focussed on himself. He remembered a time when Armin volunteered to help look after Thomas when he got sick with the flu. He truly was selfless in his endeavours…

…

…and here _he_ was trying to get into the MPs to save himself.

If Jean was being truthful with himself… Armin didn't deserve him at all. He deserved someone more like the blonde himself. Loving and caring, always kind no matter what the circumstances may be.

Reiner noticed the slight change in Jean's demeanor and followed his eyes towards the path that Armin had taken. A sudden realization hitting him.

"Jean… are you and Armin…?"

Marco and Bertolt both realized what Reiner was implying, but immediately took it back hen Jean slammed his hand on the table once more.

"Say nothing…" he growled out. "The last thing I need is this reaching Yeager's ear. Or for that matter anyone else's. I trust you three to keep your mouths shut about this."

"But why?!" Marco said happily. "I mean… sure, a guy wasn't what we had in mind for you, but Armin's an awesome choice!"

"Yeah!" Bertolt said happily. "Why would you be embarrassed about that!? I'd kill for someone like Armin! Maybe not a guy… but still…!"

"Just don't say anything!" Jean demanded. "Like I said, Yeager is the last person I want knowing about this, and I know he'll flip shit if he finds out Armin and I started something! And don't you let Armin know that you know either! I just want things to be slow for now, okay!"

"Fine, we won't say a thing!" Reiner promised. "But I doubt you'll keep this hidden for much longer. Especially if Eren gets too suspicious."

"Well I'm going to have to try. I don't want to announce anything until I tell Armin how I feel. That alone is going to be difficult."

"Well… you'll be all alone in the survival challenge." Marco implied. "Why not tell him then?"

"Yeah! That would work!" Bertolt said enthusiastically. "Tell him by the fire, or by the shore of a lakeside. Just make it memorable!"

"We'll make sure you two are given the utmost privacy!" Reiner swore to the teen, patting him on the back. "Just make sure not to leave anything out! Just go for it! And if Eren finds out, we'll keep him at bay. We're not promising anything for Mikasa though. She's crazier than she looks, you know."

Jean grinned at this and nodded. "Okay then… I'll tell him during the exercise!"

The larger blonde patted his back once more before all of them noticed Armin's return to the group and immediately acted as if nothing had just been said about their relationship. For the rest of that day, each of the boys plotted in secret to help this plan go off without a hitch.

Nothing could go wrong!


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you to anyone for checking out this story! You're all amazing! :D_**

* * *

"Okay, what are you guys hiding?" Eren asked the three guilty looking teens in front of him.

Reiner was as stoic as ever, Marco tried not to look the brunette in the eye, and Bertolt was sort of hiding behind Reiner in hopes Eren wouldn't notice him too much. The three had promised Jean they'd keep everyone away from them so he could tell Armin the truth, but it was more difficult than they'd imagined due to the fact that the brunette had wanted to hang around with Armin, even though his partner was Mikasa.

The irritated brunette rolled his eyes. "Come on, where is he?!"

Reiner shrugged. "Like I said, we haven't seen Armin _or_ Jean for that matter. The two probably went off to gather some food for dinner. That is the point of the exercise, isn't it? Teaming up and heling out everyone for survival?"

"Yes, but I've just about had it with Mikasa doing everything for me!" Eren admitted. "At least with the extra time I can check up on Armin and make sure Jean isn't getting too close to him. I don't know if you've noticed, but he's been acting weird around Armin ever since he stopped that pervert cadet from laying his hands on him. It's like they bonded or something."

"Or something…" Marco muttered, making Reiner chuckle under his breath.

"Look, Yeager," Reiner patted a hand on the boy's back, "don't worry about those two! It's not some unwritten rule that Armin has to hate jean just because you do! Hell, I think they look good together! A perfect match if you ask me!"

Eren only scoffed. "You act as if they're a couple. And in what way would they even _make_ a perfect match? Because Armin's a genius and Jean's two blades short of his 3DMG?"

At this point Bertolt stepped in and spoke up.

"Actually, you're right about them being polar opposites, but not in the way you think. I mean, they're both smart in a sense that they can see the next move in a fight, but Jean takes it on headfirst while Armin thinks about it to himself. Armin is silent and contemplating, whereas Jean speaks his mind freely and doesn't care about the consequences. They're basic sun and moon."

"What are you babbling on about?" The brunette asked in a gruff, unsure voice. He really didn't know if he wanted to hear this about the two considering everything he was feeling about it at the moment.

When Bertolt looked to Reiner unsurely, the blonde nodded his head and he took a breath.

"Think of it like this; without the moon and night we would only have the sun and the day. If that were the case, things would cook under the sun and we'd lose everything. Vice versa, say that we only had the night and no day, and we'd all freeze to death. If not, crops wouldn't grow and we'd all die eventually from lack of sunlight and natural warmth. So what I'm basically saying is that the two balance each other out. The same can be said about Armin and Jean.

"Jean is straightforward and logical. He doesn't care that the things he says may well hurt your feelings or that they might seem improbable. He gives his opinion and he lets others know what he's thinking. It's a useful trait to have, especially in battle. I mean, if he knew there was a chance we wouldn't survive, he'd let you know right away. It's just who he is. But on the _other_ spectrum we have Armin who is usually calm under most circumstances, and he's a loyal soldier and friend. He's also incredibly smart and knows how to work through a plan with care and precision. The only thing is, he's quiet and unsure of himself. He won't speak his mind unless he truly believes his thoughts need to be heard.

"Together, the two could be something unstoppable."

Marco nodded at this. "A great Commander, and a greater Tactician. If you ask me, I think them working together is one of the more smarter ideas."

Eren only laughed at Marco's reply. "Jean a Commander? Count me out then."

"Got a problem with following my commands, cadet?" Came the familiar voice.

Both Jean and Armin exited the forest, packs filled with either wood or found berries, and both seemed to be smiling at something wholly unfamiliar to Eren himself.

Jean suddenly scoffed. "That's fine. I'm not looking to being a Commander anyway. I wouldn't want to deal with brats like you every time there was a graduation."

Armin hummed at this as he set his pack down by his tent. "I rather like the thought of you riding around on a horse and commanding children to die for you. I imagine the revolt of the people would be no sooner than your first year as leading officer."

The taller teen set his own pack down by their tent and nudged the blonde. "Of course, as my faithful tactician, I would assume you'd take the bullets for me."

Armin looked up into Jean's golden eyes and smiled. "Jean, if the revolt led to you being gunned down, and I was the only one there to save you before the trigger was pulled…

…

"…I would miss you very dearly."

"Ooh, ouch!" Reiner replied to this, pulling Armin into a side hug. "You are one feisty little blonde, Armin! Marry me!"

Armin pulled away from him. "Illegal here... for now."

"Fuck that, let's elope!"

Bertolt raised his hand joyfully. "I call the part of the best man!"

"Eloping means we'd run off and marry." Armin reminded him.

"I know," the tall brunette replied. "I'm hoping Reiner brings me along."

"Always, Bertl!"

Armin rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. "I'm touched you wish to marry me, but I've got someone else in mind for that roll… as you may well know."

The three teens looked at the blonde with guilty smiles while Eren stared in pure bewilderment.

"Armin!" The shorter brunette finally spurted out. "When did you meet someone!? Who is it!?"

"I'd rather not say, Eren. Just know that they mean a lot to me and I'll introduce you soon." Armin promised him before entering into his tent with his pack to sort through the berries he'd picked.

Jean rubbed his neck nervously. "Wow… didn't think he had it in him."

Marco crossed his arms with a sly smile. "Jealous your tactician found another commander?"

"Believe me, he's no commander." He said in a low, guttural voice before following the blonde into his tent.

Eren took a moment to process this before quickly running off to tell Mikasa about what he'd just learned. Leaving the three teens to question if Jean had actually said anything to Armin about his feelings.

When the teen came out once again, him having stripped off his shirt due to the heat, they asked if he'd said anything to Armin about his true feelings.

He merely grumbled. "Not yet… I chickened out at the last moment. I'm going to tell him though."

"Well if you don't soon, he's running off with me a Bert-y over here!" Reiner promised him.

Jean scoffed at this. "I'm pretty sure Armin can't handle two at once. Though you never know… he might surprise me yet."

"Would you be up for sharing?" Reiner joked.

Another scoff was his reply as he picked up his pack and headed over to the fire to help get it started.

Reiner grinned mischievously. "I'm not hearing a 'No'!"

* * *

 _ **Later That Night**_

* * *

"It's a no," Armin replied to the taller teen across the tent form him. "You can't share me with Reiner."

Jean only chuckled at this. "But he loves you so much!" He joked.

Armin only rolled his eyes be continuing to read his book. He had been as a good part before Jean interrupted him with the question of a three-way with Reiner. He blatantly turned him down, much to Jean's delight, but knew Reiner would be 'heartbroken' in the morning.

Jean looked back to his blonde companion and immediately felt a pang of inspiration and life hit him.

He got out his sketchbook and pencils and got to work immediately. With the light hitting Armin's face just right, and the soft glow of the lantern illuminating his fine features, Jean couldn't resist the urge to sketch out a quick draft of what was right in front of him. He knew he wouldn't remember the lighting if he'd waited until later so he had to start now. It was almost an impulse now to draw what he found the most fascinating. And at that moment, it'd been Armin. Him and the glow of loveliness around him. If only he could see what Jean saw.

Armin noticed the faint sound of pencil against paper and he glanced up to see Jean fiercely focussed on his page and what he was currently drawing, making the boy smile. He found it sweet that Jean considered him a muse of sorts, but was also a bit embarrassed to know he was being sketched in what was supposed to be a relaxing moment.

Jean knew right away when Armin noticed he was drawing him. The blonde tensed up and the scene became more posed than relaxed. It was no longer a moment, but rather a scene. Lifeless and poised, like a doll.

And Jean didn't want a doll.

He set down his pencil and paper to crawl over to the blonde before him and give him a peck on the cheek.

"You're lucky I'm a fast sketcher."

Armin knew right away what he meant blushed. "Sorry…"

The taller of the two pulled him into his lap and hummed, pressing his lips to the boy's neck.

"Don't apologise. You were a beautiful muse when you were relaxed."

A small, less than painful, smack to the side made Jean snicker slightly as he leaned back onto the bed-roll, bringing his blonde companion with him. Once the two were rested on the ground, Armin began to snuggle up into Jean's chest, making the taller hum in response.

"The best part about having our own tent; Yeager can't bug us or know about us."

Armin only scoffed. "Like Marco and the other two don't know what we're doing."

Jean chuckled before placing a chaste kiss on his lover's forehead. "But we're only cuddling."

"That doesn't stop their imaginations." The blonde replied in an almost annoyed voice.

"Well then, since we won't be able to convince them otherwise…" the taller teen spoke heatedly as he rolled them over so he was on top.

Armin giggled in response to this before feeling the teen's hasty kisses up and down his neck, tracing out his jawline every so often before going back onto his neck. When his lips reached his, Armin stopped his advances and reminded him that there were others in the camp and that they had no room to be loud.

Jean merely escaped the hand before showering the blonde in kisses once more. "Don't worry… I'll make sure to muffle our screams of pleasure."

Right as he was getting back into things, Armin pulled away once more.

"Not now, Jean." He said in a more serious voice, cheeks flushed from the heat of the moment. I… I-I'm just not ready."

The brunette understood him completely, however much it pained him to pull away, and put some distance between the two.

"Sorry… I didn't mean…"

Armin pulled him back into a hug and hummed in pleasure. "I didn't say you could leave my side. I just want to wait a bit longer until… you know…"

Jean nodded at this. "I understand."

It was only fair to Armin, of course. The boy had no idea of Jean's true feelings, and for all he knew this would end sooner than either of them hoped. What with Jean wanting to go into the Military Police, and Armin wanting to be part of the Survey Corps… it just wouldn't work out in the end anyway.

And that thought terrified Jean.

He loved Armin, he loved being close to someone for once in his life. Losing him because he wanted safety sounded like an excuse. And he didn't want that.

So then… what could he do?


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Sorry for being away so long! D: I've been down for the count for a few months because of an injury, but I'm back and ready to write!_**

 ** _Also, if anyone is interested, I have an account with Fictionpress under the name ObsydianWing is anyone would like to check out my latest, original work, "Riders of Haven". I'd greatly appreciate the feedback!_**

 ** _With that, enjoy!_**

* * *

Graduation day had come too soon for Jean. Yes, he'd been proud to make it into the top ten, and yes he'd been upset about being ranked lower than Eren. But what he'd hated the most about all of this was the decision he'd have to make concerning being in the Military Police… or following Armin. More than anything he wanted to stay beside the blonde and make sure everything would be alright between them, but he'd wanted to be in the MPs since he was young. He wanted to be safe and sound, to never have to think about dealing with titans and to be part of the elite force.

But when would there be another chance to see Armin? To be by his side, just holding him and enjoying his presence?

Would there ever be a chance when they could see each other?

Jean walked out into the cool air to get a breather from the day's events. Yes, he was glad to be in the top ten… but conflicted about how happy he should really be.

He looked up at the dark sky and grumbled. Something about how bright and cheery the stars were made him relatively upset. The sky should be as dark and dull as he was feeling, just to make everything else seem balanced. It made him think of all the times when he'd look up to the sky as a child and wish the bright stars would dull and disappear from sight. As a victim of his own childhood bullies, he had his many moments of self-hatred, and hatred towards the world. Even growing up and joining in the training camp, he continued hating the stars. I wasn't until he looked into Armin's bright, shining blue eyes and revelling in his glowing smile, that he finally understood what the fascination of the stars was.

There was romance in the stars, mystery and wonder. Something untouchable yet seen every night before heading into slumber. Armin was much the same way. His true thoughts, his true feelings and his beautiful way of expressing his emotions, were all something relatively impossible to be a part of. It was just… him. And there was nothing and no one else like him.

He was a bright and shining star. So far away, but so very interesting.

"Might I join you?" Said star suddenly spoke up from behind the confused teen, making him jump.

Jean took a breath and smiled at the blonde before him. "If you don't mind a short walk through a dark and scary camp."

Armin only grinned as he strode up to Jean's side. "Don't worry. I'll keep you safe."

Jean was happy to have the company, knowing Armin didn't question him to the point of annoying and the fact that he knew the blonde was probably having the same thoughts he was, set at ease a bit. But of course, there was still the little itch in the back of his head that made him just wary enough about the situation that he felt he should bring it up.

The brunette took a breath and let it out slowly. "So… now that we've graduated, I suppose you're following Eren into the Recon Corps."

"Jean, I've told you before that I'm not following him. I'm going through to the Survey Corps because I want to explore what's beyond the wall. I suppose since Eren's little speech today it may _look_ like I'm just trying to be there for my friend, but Jean… you know me better than that. Or have you forgotten all the private little talks we've had after dinner before the others filed in for bed?"

The taller of the two shook his head. "Never, Armin. It's impossible for me to forget every moment I've had with you. Which… only makes my decision harder."

"You're having second thoughts about the Military Police?" The blonde questioned.

Jean only shrugged. "Yes and no… I mean, I'd love to be part of the elite and to be protected in the interior. But…" he trailed off, still too afraid to say it so soon into the relationship.

The blonde took hold of his arm, still continuing on their walk. "I know… I'll miss this too. But we can still be in touch. I could send you letters or come to visit…"

"If you don't die, anyway." The brunette reminded coldly. "Let's face it, your chances of survival are slim, even if you _were_ part of the top ten. Facing off against titans is a sucker's way of dying, and I have no intention to live a life like that. And it kills me to see someone as smart as you throw away their lives for something that is impossible to stop. You want to be outside the walls and find all this amazing stuff, then be my guest. I think it's an admirable goal for someone like you. But for people like Eren, who only want death to something practically un-killable… it's just a waste of time."

Armin was silent after this for what felt like a long while, making Jean fear that he'd been too blunt about the topic yet again. Hell only knows the guy was too honest for his own good some days.

However…

"You're right." Came the surprising words. "And I think Eren needs to see for himself just how tough it is to be a soldier before he has any right to say anything about any other soldiers. However, I can't stop him from what he wants to do. He's too angry and too proud to realize that he's digging his own grave. I can't say I'm any better for wanting to join up with the Survey Corps, for nothing more than to document what's beyond the beyond… but I won't stop until I see it all for myself. And it has nothing to do with Eren or Mikasa. It's what _I_ want… what I believe I should do. And Jean, whatever it is _you_ feel is right, then you should do. No one's telling you to join the Military Police and no one is telling you to join the Garrison or Survey Corps. Just do whatever you think is right."

The taller teen grinned down at his blonde little friend before kissing his head lovingly.

"I promise, I'll write to you every day." He whispered to the blonde. "I promise."

"You'd better… because if you're going to be lounging about in the interior with no worries about us working class, I expect you not to lose your ability to hold a pen."

"Yes, dear." The teen mocked, smiling at the warm comfort of knowing Armin wouldn't hate him for leaving for the interior.

Perhaps things wouldn't be as bad as he'd imagined. This might actually work out for them.

It couldn't be as terrible as he was imagining it…

…right?


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Sorry for being away so long! D: I've been down for the count for a few months because of an injury, but I'm back and ready to write!_**

 ** _Also, if anyone is interested, I have an account with Fictionpress under the name ObsydianWing is anyone would like to check out my latest, original work, "Riders of Haven". I'd greatly appreciate the feedback!_**

 ** _With that, enjoy!_**

* * *

It'd all been a blur. The call came out that the titans overtook Trost, and that they now had to begin fighting them back. It was five years ago all over again. Only this time there was no false hope that the soldiers would take care of everything. They all knew they were going to die, that the world they once knew was over with.

Trost had fallen, and humanity would be pushed back to the interior. The soldiers out of gas and waiting for death to claim them.

All hope was dead.

Jean combed a hand through his hair as he glanced over to Armin. The blonde had been too quiet… too shocked to speak to him. He'd tried everything to get him to talk to him… to tell him what was going on and how he'd managed to survive. But Armin was still as a statue. Cold and unfeeling. Everything he'd witnessed, everything he'd been through… it'd been too much.

The teen looked away from the blonde and grit his teeth. _'I should have been here for him… I should have helped him… he shouldn't have to go through all this! Not him! Not his gentle soul!'_

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to find Marco looking down at him with reassuring eyes.

"Jean… it's not your fault…"

He smacked the hand away and turned forward once again. "Armin doesn't deserve to witness death. He's too pure, too innocent for it. And had I stuck around to stay by his side, to help him when he needed me…"

"Then you would have been killed." Marco interrupted. "Just like the rest of his squad."

"I'd happily die for him if it meant he got what he's been dreaming of for so long now." The teen admitted. "Even if we weren't… together… I'd still give my life for his. No one with a heart like his, with a mind more brilliant than any others, should live through knowing he watched his friends and allies dying."

Marco was silent then, backing away slightly when he realized that he wasn't getting through to the brunette. He was too angry, too upset to deal with Marco and his vapid little attitude about life and death. Jean couldn't deal with that right now, not with his gas on the brink of being extinguished and his nerves shot from watching death and destruction all around him.

A few moments passed by where Jean contemplated on what to do next. With their gas being low and the resupply headquarters being overtaken by titans, there wasn't much for them to do other than wait and pray the titans didn't see or care about them. Of course, that was just wishful thinking and he knew that just sitting around and doing nothing would be useless. Titans were faster than they thought and twice as ravenous as first believed. There was no getting out of this mess…

…

…they were all done for.

"Armin!" A familiar voice called, gaining Jean's attention.

He turned to see Mikasa talking to a half-dead Armin and asking him about what had happened to his squad and Eren. He could hear Mikasa begging for answers right before Armin began to crouch in on himself and begin tearing up. Before long, everyone knew of the devastation that hit the blonde and his squad… including Eren.

As much as Eren pissed him off, Jean was upset to hear about his death. Mainly because Armin didn't deserve to lose his best friend in that way.

Armin had mentioned many times before that Eren had been like a saviour to him when he'd been bullied. And so Jean really couldn't hate the guy due to this. Did he have some animosity towards him? Of course. But knowing that suicidal bastard did everything within his power to save Armin from the treacherous torments of youth and bastardization of society, Jean couldn't find it within his heart to truly hate the guy. Eren had been a good friend in the past, despite his lousy portrayal of one that had surfaced during training. Armin remained loyal because Eren had remained loyal.

And Jean found that to be quite refreshing in a world where friendships were hard to come by.

Of course, the news of Eren's death made Mikasa determined to show her prowess as a supreme soldier. And despite the hell that awaited her, she left towards the supply station without anyone else. Her duty was her own.

And so Jean made the decision to follow.

What did they have to lose? If they were still they were dead, and if they tried to retake the supply station they were dead but with a small chance at living. There really was no other option.

Stay and be eaten…

…or leave and die putting up a fight.

…

…

…well, if they were going to find his corpse, he'd rather it be found knowing he wasn't sitting around waiting for death.

He convinced the others to follow, making sure Armin was well within his sights as they moved forward. He followed Mikasa through the rooftops, making sure his gas wasn't wasted, and kept a close watch on Armin. Though he knew the blonde was a tough little nut all on his own, that didn't stop the fact that he was physically weak when it came to combat. If it came down to it, he'd defend him with his life as best as he could.

The teen landed on the rooftops and began running to save on gas when he heard someone join him.

"Jean, Mikasa's using too much gas." Armin noted to him. "Her supply is going to run out."

"What! Why would she be so careless!?" The brunette demanded.

"You may not be able to see it as clearly as I do, but she's taking Eren's loss too personal. She's lost the will to think straight."

"So what do we do to snap her out of it?!" Jean demanded once again.

The blonde turned to him with a look of determination. "You do nothing. Just get as many soldiers as you can to the supply station. Promise me you'll do that."

 _'What the hell is he thinking?'_ The teen thought to himself.

Without his answer, the blonde jumped into the air and sped off to follow Mikasa close behind. In mere moments he could see the girl falling to her death with Armin speeding off to find her.

The brunette almost lost his head when he saw this, immediately thinking about turning back to look for them, but cleared his mind when he saw Connie rush off to help them. With this he could only hope that they'd all come back in one piece.

The teen growled under his breath. _'I swear, if I never see Armin again, I'll search for Eren's corpse myself, cut off every limb, and feed his severed body to the crows!'_

"KEEP GOING!" The teen commanded, leading the charge now.

 _'Please come back, Armin.'_

* * *

Punching the asshole that had supposed to have been the one to help them out with the gas had felt amazing to Jean. Knowing he got his two pence was worth it despite having to be held back by Marco in the heat of his anger.

These bastards had no idea what was going on out there, how many lives were lost, and how many people were eaten alive. They had no idea of the devastation, of the absolute horror, that they all went through. Not to mention the stragglers who probably didn't make it, and Armin with Connie and Mikasa falling behind, and they couldn't supply the gas because they were cowering in fear! What an absolute disgrace of human skin! OF HUMANITY! As true soldiers they should have fought to the death to save as many people as they could, but instead holed themselves up like cowards!

How many people's lives were lost due to their incompetence and selfishness of human life?!

Jean didn't want to think of that…

…

…not when Armin could easily be part of the statistic.

Right as Marco loosened his grip on the teen, making sure he was just a little bit calmer than before, a sudden crash filled the air as titans surrounded the building in order to get at the soldiers. Because of this people began running for their lives and driving deeper into the building in hopes to live another day.

Jean, however, stayed behind.

 _'So this is it…'_ he thought to himself, _'this is how humanity ends. As fodder for the titans. This truly is hell beyond all reason.'_

There was no escaping them…

…

…the end was now.

As if some miracle from beyond the makings of the gods themselves, the titans that had been reaching in to grab the soldiers, were suddenly punched away from the opening by another – more abnormal – titan. The screams it emitted making the world tremble at the very sound. Each step it took was with more purpose and fight than any other titan alive.

This titan… was not like the others.

In too much of a haze of shock and dismay, Jean failed to notice right away that Connie, Armin, and Mikasa had all crashed through one of the windows and rolled to safety. Their gas supply completely empty.

Jean held his breath when he saw that they were alright, mainly to stop himself from showering the blonde one affection and gratitude for his life being spared, he asked what exactly was going on and how they managed to get back.

"That titan over there," Mikasa noted, looking over at the abnormal, "it isn't like the others. It fights against its own."

"Yeah!" Connie exclaimed happily, patting Armin on the back. "And we have Armin here to thank for helping us see its potential as a weapon!"

The blonde groaned at the pain before standing up. "That's enough, Connie. We need to refill on gas and get the hell out of here. The titan will keep the others at bay while we get refueled."

The four teens made a mad dash away from the opening then, with Jean and Armin following Connie and Mikasa. Before they could make it down the stairs and into the supply room, however, Jean grabbed hold of Armin's elbow and pulled him out of sight from the others.

Before the blonde could question what he was doing, he was taken off guard with a rushed and lengthy kiss, immediately shutting him up and making him relax at the intimate moment. Why it had felt like a thousand years since their last kiss, he would never understand. But by the wall had it felt amazing to have this moment with him once again.

Jean parted from the shorter teen and rested his forehead against his. "Don't EVER scare me like that again."

Armin only laughed at this though. "No promises."


End file.
